Am I an Apple or a Pear?

Isaiah sent me a post from Jezebel (Great blog; strongly suggest you read it.) titled “In Which We Explore The Ridiculousness Of "Dressing For Your Shape.” He suggested I post about it instead of him. Personally, I’m interested in his point of view, but nonetheless, here’s my side.

The post generally explains that the names for the body sizes that many magazines use to help us readers shop for clothes are fairly ridiculous, dated and offensive. You know the body sizes I’m talking about: pear-shaped, tall, boyish, etc.

This quote pretty much sums it up: “Which is all well and good, I suppose, unless you happen to be a Pear-Shaped Busty Tall Woman looking for ideas on Plus-Size gowns, because the advice for each category is markedly different, which would lead many women to believe that there are only certain aspects of their bodies that are truly worth addressing, as opposed to concentrating on what fits and feels good.”

I have to say I completely agree. I have absolutely no idea what “size” my body is. (Although, at 5 foot 3 and a half inches, I can pretty much forget the “tall” part.) Even my beloved SELF magazine (I really do love this magazine) trips me up with their body sizes: top-heavy, thick-waisted, petite and bottom-heavy. To be honest, a lot of the time I just flip past those pages because I get annoyed trying to figure out what I am. And sometimes, I like a look that isn't for my body type (I think), which makes me a little sad inside. Should I not wear that? WHY NOT?

And I really hate it when they have articles about picking out jeans. First off, standing in front of a mirror trying to judge what my behind is shaped like and so forth is never enjoyable. (Although I do remember an article in Glamour, I think, that had a story about buying jeans from Web sites that designed—almost molded—jeans to your exact measurements, which I enjoyed.)

I also hate some of the beauty articles for that matter, too. I cannot, for the life of me, tell what shape my face is, which leads me to become a nervous wreck because what if I pick the wrong haircut and look… well, ugly.

First, I’m sad because I can’t wear the clothes I think are cute. Second, I’m sad because my behind and a mirror are not the best of friends. Third, I’m sad because the haircut I want won’t look right. Anyone else noticing the trend?

Instead of helping you feel better about “shopping for your type,” magazines really are kind of making things worse. Pointing out trends or even how to mix simple articles of clothing is cool for the most part. And I know there is a good intention behind helping us shop for our type, but it just has the opposite affect for me. So I’ll stick to the traditional shopping route. If I like it, I’ll try it on. If it looks good, then it was made for my body type. End of story.